To be perfectly honest, I can’t think of a big, solid, justifiable reason to start a blog.
I think it would be a lot easier for me to list out and elaborate on a few, smaller but very important personal reasons to start one.
I guess I can start by saying that I like being creative, I genuinely enjoy it. Whenever I’m in the middle of a creative activity, I just feel right. It’s a bit difficult to explain without sounding a bit cheesy or dare I say, pretentious, but it feels like everything is going the way it’s supposed to. I’m at peace at that moment, aware of my breathing and thoughts. That constant existential anxiety that I’m constantly trying to get away from and chasing at the same time becomes irrelevant. I just kind of, am, at that moment. It brings me peace. The kind of peace that comes to us when we no longer doubt our place in this complex, beautiful yet chaotic and unpredictable universe.
No resistance from either the interior or the exterior, no push or pull, just flow.
However, while I love being in that creative frequency, at some point I do have to venture outside of my little garage studio and deal with the moving gears of modern daily American existence. You know the bills, the ones you earn and the ones you pay. Then there’s that metaphorical hydra beast that is the future with all its ugly heads coming at you. Financial stability, retirement, inflation, emergency expenses, etc. On top of that, every once in a while, this monster’s inbred, bitchier cousin, the past, comes to breathe down my neck and whispers guilt and regret in my ear. Debt, poor choices, impulsive purchases. You name it.
I want to break up with both of them, this throuple we got going on is toxic and I know it, but they both got a leash around my neck and every day that I don’t find a solid way to stop letting them both screw me, the leash tightens and it’s beginning to feel like any day now, they’re gonna throw me off a cliff and hold on to the leash for good measure as they laugh and take selfies, hashtag “just hanging out’’ while I kick and gasp for air in the background. I know that got a bit dark but that’s just how I honestly feel.
So I’m creative and I’m broke, big whoop.
Well I think that maybe being creative is the answer to not being broke. Seriously. I mean, why not try to make a living with what I like to do? It has taken me a long time to admit to myself that maybe I am deserving of this path. We all post and talk about “following our dreams” and “just going for it”. So then…. why not just go for it and follow my dreams.
I want to give it the old college try. I want to try and either fail and leave it alone or actually succeed at it. I would love to sound like one of those hacky motivational speakers and say that “failure isn’t an option” but if I’m being realistic, failure is always a possibility and the duty of those trying to succeed is to minimize its likelihood by constantly shooing it away with consistent effort, and that brings me to my next point.
Consistency and structure are two things that I struggle with. I can make excuses and try to come up with half baked justifications but the truth isn’t that bad actually. I think that I’m just out of practice and keeping this blog consistent should work as an accountability strategy. If i can just get myself to make two posts per week and then count on you guys to hold me accountable when I’m falling behind, (pretty please?) I can make some progress on my journey.
Finally, and this is the one I’m most excited for if I’m being honest, I think my creative career has already started. (I’ll make a whole post about that later I promise). I don’t want to miss out on it and I’d like to document as many cool things as possible. I post things on the Gram here and there but social media is really restrictive. Most of the post I make frustrate me because they feel short and I can’t really elaborate on the ideas. So this is a better format in my opinion.
This post is starting to feel long and tedious so I’ll just say this. This project is healthy for me, and that’s the best reason anyone can have to do anything really. I can quite literally spend the rest of the week typing up reasons to make this blog. Hundred of reasons really, but at some point they just sound like I’m justifying my ego. So we’ll just leave it at that.
This is healthy for me and I’ll stop if and when it stops being so. Until then, I’m gonna have fun and experiment with my creativity.
Thank you, if you’re reading this, i just want you to know that I am grateful for you. For your support, your curiosity and your creativity. Thank you for joining me on this journey and stick around to see how it unfolds. Wish we luck and keep me in your prayers. Here we go.
A leap of faith.
-Adam- 9/6/23